The Test Behind The Testimony

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” –Psalm 34:18

A couple of years back I was going through a rough time. I was struggling with depression and addiction. Pain meds were at the top of the list. They had reigned in my life for a number of years, and I would come to understand they were the main source of my depression. I was in a vicious cycle. I had convinced myself that I would never again be the person I once was. All the horror stories of trying to come off opiates didn’t help the situation. I was lost. I felt as though I was living in a box and everyday was the same. I had a home office, so I would get up every morning and turn on the news. My mind was being filled day in and day out with constant negativity playing in the background. It was affecting me in ways I didn’t even understand at the time.

Then one day from out of the blue, I heard a still small voice that said if I didn’t do something to change my life I was going to be dead. I believed that voice 100%. I had grown up in church, but I never really understood it all. At the time, I was so far away from any of that, but I knew I had to take that voice seriously. I definitely didn’t want to go out like that. So I prayed “God, if you have something better for my life, now would be the time to show me.”

And that is exactly what he did. After a series of strange events, by the end of that afternoon I had decided to quit the pills cold turkey, which I do not recommend. It was a difficult process. I couldn’t sleep; I was too sick to eat; my body ached all over and that was just the physical withdrawal.

The only way I can describe the mental withdrawal is a complete fog induced feeling of craziness with a huge dose of overwhelming anxiety. When that road got especially hard, I prayed for God to give me some hope, and he immediately answered my prayer.  That was the moment I was set free; I was found. I was born again! Right at home and with just a simple prayer, my life was forever changed. I knew not only was I going to get through this, but that God was going to use it for a purpose. For the first time I knew without a doubt that God was real, alive, and had been there my entire life just waiting for me to turn to him. I would have never made it this far without my faith in God. Faith is not denying the facts. Faith is not by your own will—it is not mind over matter. Faith is trusting God to do what only He can despite our circumstances. I’m living proof of that.

It took me many months to recover. As time went on, I turned off the news and turned on the Outlaws, and God began to speak to me about using music to accomplish his will for my life. I had no idea how that would be accomplished I just knew it would. I started playing guitar and writing about my experience, and God did the rest. By praying and staying in faith, God made a way where I didn’t see a way.

2 Corinthians 12:10 says, “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” I didn’t have to get my whole life together for God to begin working in and through me. I will never be perfect, and it is impossible to be perfect in this fallen world we live in. I am a sinner, and I wake up every morning repenting. We are all sinners. God knows this, and that is why we have Jesus. He will be working on all of us until the day we die.

God has healed me in many ways. In these times we’re living in, many people need that healing too. I hope and pray that God will continue to work through me and use my testimony to bring others to the understanding of him that he wants them to have. Life will always have its ups and downs, and we need him now more than ever. It’s not about waiting for the right time……THE TIME IS NOW!

Prayer Requests

Now that you’ve heard my story, I’d love to hear your’s. Please feel welcome to share your story and prayer requests below!